We all got eaten by zombies. Tune in next winter when we make yet another concerted effort to actually exercise all winter.
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Fitness Program
a fitness game for winter doldrums
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Z6. December 1, 2013. Day 61
A very
distinct memory occurs to you, as you gaze, bored, from your position in the
lookout. In front of you is a small sea
of rot that extended in the lowland area along the eastern edge of the zombie
refuge. You were young, riding in the backseat of the car. Drowsy. Your eyes opened
and shut and the rhythm of the road bounced your head gently against the cloth
interior wall of the vehicle as it drove down the unknown road. You don't
know where you were, and have only a rough guess of how old... but you do
remember the smell. Horrid. Who knew that the tense fear of being chased and
eaten, or worse, converted to a zombie
by zombies would become irrelevant
next to the smell of them permeating the air, day after day. If you never smell
zombie again, it will be too soon.
The zombies wander along the plain in little groups, moving in the distance like clumps of algae floating across a pool, parted by an oar in water. You stand and jump up and down to stay awake. The zombies are luckily lacking the brains that they had when still human, so they are not much of a nuisance. Well. If you ignore the never-ending smell. And the inability to get fresh supplies.
The zombies wander along the plain in little groups, moving in the distance like clumps of algae floating across a pool, parted by an oar in water. You stand and jump up and down to stay awake. The zombies are luckily lacking the brains that they had when still human, so they are not much of a nuisance. Well. If you ignore the never-ending smell. And the inability to get fresh supplies.
A sound
crackles across the radio, “Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!” The forest service camp
had somehow become overrun, and the people were trapped in kitchen. Overrun?
What had they been doing, exactly? The voice over the radio was non-specific as
to the events. A rescue group might be able to reach them from the adjoin ridgelines;
it was possible that they could find a route out for the trapped people.
You decide
to:
Join the
rescue crew. You hike 2 miles with a 40 lb pack of supplies.
Join the
rescue crew. There is a small lake (2
large pool lengths) between you and the boat and southern edge of the forest
service camp. You swim to the boat and
row it back to the rescue group. (swim + row machine).
You help
prepare the camp for the new members. Unfortunately,
extra supplies are located in a rail car a quarter mile away, on the zombie
plain. You move across vehicles, trees
and tool sheds to get to the rail car. (use playground toys to create an
obstacle course getting to the rail car and back. Sprint all times you are on
the ground).
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Z5. Nov 17, 2013. Day 48.
You wake up
on the couch of the 'resort' (your little joke to yourself) after a nice nap. Other
than chores, you have really caught up on sleep here. Your neck is twisted in
an awkward position, and unfortunate
trail of drool has dried across the corner of your chin. You feel thick
and foggy and crinkled in the brain, and your neck is aching. The tv is playing
some infomercial, too loudly. Your clothes are wrinkled into the shape of your
body and have the greasy feeling of human oils. You want a shower.
It is then that a vile scent hits you. You realize that you were awaken by a waft of this scent to begin with. Your body goes rigid. The scent is like… rotten broccoli… mixed with rotten eggs… mixed with a leather factory. You brain reels trying to define the odor.
You focus on barely breathing, moving your head slowly, and just slightly, tense to run. In the dim light of the infomercial flashing you see it standing there. One of the infected. It rocks slightly. Bad eyesight. You remind yourself that the news claims they have bad eyesight at this phase of the infection.
It is then that a vile scent hits you. You realize that you were awaken by a waft of this scent to begin with. Your body goes rigid. The scent is like… rotten broccoli… mixed with rotten eggs… mixed with a leather factory. You brain reels trying to define the odor.
You focus on barely breathing, moving your head slowly, and just slightly, tense to run. In the dim light of the infomercial flashing you see it standing there. One of the infected. It rocks slightly. Bad eyesight. You remind yourself that the news claims they have bad eyesight at this phase of the infection.
You
(either):
You jump up,
screaming “ZOMBIE!!!” to alert the rest of the camp. You sprint 0.25 mile at your fastest pace, to
get away.
The zombie
turns slightly. You have to get to the alarm bell 200 feet away. Sneak as quietly
as you can, crawling if you have to, to get to the alarm bell.
You have 24 hours from when you read
this email to complete this challenge.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Z4. Nov 1, 2013. Day 32.
This evening an alert went across all channels. There was an outbreak this afternoon at the
Miami-Dade Quarantine Facility. A second outbreak at a nightclub in downtown Miami
at 8pm EST. Miami was placed under quarantine by the CDC and Homeland Security
10 minutes later. Traffic has been
streaming out of Florida toward Alabama and Georgia. A third outbreak occurred at
9pm EST in one of the traffic lines going into Alabama; the quarantine is
currently throughout Florida and Alabama, and a state of emergency was
declared. Martial law has been implemented. Louisiana and Georgia are under
high alert, and also under martial law. The most terrifying reports are that Homeland
Security has started shooting infected
Americans to hold the quarantine line. Holy…
The news makes you feel like something is pressing on your
chest. The anxiety crawls up your throat. You have to leave and protect your
family and friends. Several of your buddies
have started a ‘fort’ out in the wilderness a couple weeks ago. At that time
news reporters were making fun of them, and the EPA tried to arrest them using
their SWOT team, until Congress told them to back off. The Forest Service made
public statements to request the group, who called themselves “the Renegades”
(sigh), leave. But the rumor has spread that the local forest service rangers started
a second camp about two miles away, over the ridgeline. You quietly pack up the survival gear that
you have been pulling out of the garage and dusting off over the last few
weeks. You tell your family, your
friends, your dog and your cat to pack up. Ok, you pack up the dog and cat. And
you head up to spend the zombie apocalypse with the rest of the crazies.
In your head you are totally prepared to be camping until
this whole thing is over. God bless engineers and construction guys. There is a
running toilet and shower set up. There’s
even a television. The camp is quite a
lot larger than the number of people present; you are guessing it can hold 50,
and there are about 30 people there. An eclectic mix of engineers, educators,
medical professionals and artists.
As part of the camp, you are allotted certain activities to
assist with building the camp up properly. You assist the group by doing at least
one of the following (no injuries!):
· Carry 10 gallons of water 100 feet.
· Practice zombie defense/killing: You will need a medium weight rock about the size of a baseball. Get out to a hilly area and practice throwing the rock at an object about the height of a zombie head, attempting to hit the head. Do this until your arm is tired. Try to increase your distance so that you wouldn’t be too close to the zombie.
· Practice zombie responsiveness: be quick on your feet. Do 30 burpees as fast as you can, at least under 5 minutes.
· Injured/sick: purify 10 gallons of water.
· It is ok to do a selection from the October list.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Z3. Oct 23, 2013. Day 23
Outbreak at New Ellis Island Quarantine Contained
By Anther Banghart - October 23, 2013 9:10 AM EDT. Online Edition
An outbreak at the New Ellis Island Quarantine Facility was contained Tuesday at 7:00 pm EST. The New Ellis Island facility is sectioned off by entry dates; the Day 14 section was affected. Officials have not released any official numbers, but approximately 20 individuals are believed to have survived; 200 are believed dead. Survivors have been placed in isolated quarantine.
The list of individuals affected will not be released until families have been notified.
This is the first outbreak in an American quarantine facility and the fifth in-quarantine outbreak internationally. Outbreaks in facilities in London, Madrid, Bombay and Tokyo have caused the deaths of 16,178 in last 5 days. This does not include the devastation along the equatorial region of Africa. Early estimates of several million dead are considered low.
An international state of emergency was issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) on October 19th during the first outbreak in quarantine (Madrid). All international travel to the continent of Africa has been halted except aide, medical advisers and peacekeeping forces.
The list of individuals affected will not be released until families have been notified.
This is the first outbreak in an American quarantine facility and the fifth in-quarantine outbreak internationally. Outbreaks in facilities in London, Madrid, Bombay and Tokyo have caused the deaths of 16,178 in last 5 days. This does not include the devastation along the equatorial region of Africa. Early estimates of several million dead are considered low.
An international state of emergency was issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the World Health Organization (WHO) on October 19th during the first outbreak in quarantine (Madrid). All international travel to the continent of Africa has been halted except aide, medical advisers and peacekeeping forces.
Please note that this is another fake news story for the purpose of Zombie Apocalypse Survival Fitness Program, and any connection to any real people is imagined. Hey- you! Yes, you. Only 8 more days until the end of October. Several people have the zombie challenge done! Do you?
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Montana Logger- Zombie Challenge Complete!
City people are going to be amazed we had more than one "chop a cord of wood" as the selected zombie challenge. Go team!
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